we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
