problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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