BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
