After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I can text with my tongue
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
