Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
