My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
