sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
