Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The police scanner is talking about you again....
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Randomize
