Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize