Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
