Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You ate ashes out of my bong
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
