hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
