in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
