dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
