Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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