I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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