Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
