3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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