The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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