dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
