my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
