No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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