His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Holy sore nipples Batman
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
