First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
