So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
