If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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