You're my little dorito
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
