I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I woke up under a house in Key West
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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