i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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