i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
