Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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