I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
