I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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