I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
