but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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