So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
