i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
