Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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