Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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