bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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