am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
