shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
