Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I believe in your delicious
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
