Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
two words...techno handjob
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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