I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
