...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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