i may or may not be watching the land before time
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Randomize
