I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
