sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
