And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
birth control should be required to get into college
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
