I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
