turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
